


Things I'm Not Allowed To do At Hogwarts

by noctiscorvus



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, marauders - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Giant Squid - Freeform, marauder era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-22
Updated: 2012-09-21
Packaged: 2017-11-14 19:05:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noctiscorvus/pseuds/noctiscorvus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a school full of kids.<br/>Kids do stupid things.<br/>Especially kids with wands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

You couldn't pay Sirius Black enough money to keep the shit eating grin off his face, as he watched his best friend stomp his way towards the Great Lake.  
Remus wasn't sure whether this was funny or that his friends really took their dares a little too seriously to be considered sane. His mind, logic, was telling him it was the latter. It was a shame he couldn't quite hear it over the laughter that kept bubbling up from his stomach.  
Even Peter, who usually tried not to do things that would get him on any of his friends' bad side, was having trouble with keeping a straight face.

James had reached the edge of the lake, Sirius' voice yelling that he should be courteous followed by a bark of laughter drifted towards him loud enough to make his frown into a scowl.  
“Stupid Snivelly and his stupid potion-knowing-all-big-nose.” He grit out through clenched teeth. How was he to know that Snivellus could smell the Holly and Oak shavings he'd added? It wasn't normal.  
And once this was over, James had every intention of pointing it out in the 'nicest' ways possible to the slimy Slytherin.

Still he was a man and a man never backed down from a triple griffin dare.  
Taking a big breath, James Potter stepped into the cold water, going forward till he was wading in water up to his waist.  
Clearing his throat and unconsciously readjusting his tie, he held out the flowers in his hand, relinquishing the death grip somewhat.  
“O Giant Squid. Your.. beauty astounds me greatly. Your grace in the water is unmatched and youARGH!”

James' scream was accompanied by three maniacal howls of laughter as his friends watched from the bank as the star Chaser was swept under then above the water, dangling from one of the squid's tentacles by his legs.

“What's going on here?!” Professor Cudgen yelled, the hem of her cherry red robes catching up to her as she halted her sprint.  
Remus, biting back another round of laughter, managed to give her a straight face, passing off an air of 'everything is under control' “James decided to proposition the squid, Professor.”  
Sirius sucked in a deep breath “He just didn't expect to get past second base before the first date.” And they were all laughing again.

Water dripped down his dress robes in waterfalls while James gasped for breath.  
Having lost his glasses, everything was blurry to him, just blobs of colours in the glow of a setting sun.  
Doing his best to ignore the presence of his friends, which was a feat easier said than done, he ran a hand through his hair, pitched the squid his best grin and said “So, we on for tonight then?”


	2. Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

Peter sat as still as a statue, tense to the bone.  
He wasn’t sure whether he was more terrified of having to ask Amanda Locking to the dance or whatever it is that his friends were planning as they huddled, Remus included, in the far corner of the room, throwing him a glance every now and then.

“He just needs a bit of courage, not a bloody campaign for Prime Minister!” Sirius words were accompanied by James shoving him into Remus.

”Like slipping her Love potion is any better!”

“Who knows, maybe she likes him too and just needs a little push!”

“U-uh guys?” Peter’s voice was merely a squeak as the two raven haired boys continued their conversation, the werewolf now leaning casually against the wall with an amused expression on his face.

“You do know there are potions for courage right? Non-lethal ones?” Both boys stopped squabbling, staring blank faced at the Prefect for a full second before breaking out into grins.

“Moony, you’re a genius!” Sirius ruffled his hair before the scarred teen could dodge away.

”Well you’re obviously not, Pads! And was mentioning non-lethal entirely necessary? We know better than to kill Wormtail.” James had quickly crossed the room, rummaging through his bedside table drawer, pulling out the Marauder's map with triumph.

“Yeah, even if it might get him laid for once.” Winking at the shorter boy, Sirius sidled up to his partner in crime.

Peter wasn’t sure he liked where this was going, but was glad that they weren’t planning on playing with his life. Tonight.  
Still, the idea of sneaking into the Potions room, which was now more guarded than usual after their last prank, made his stomach a little queasy.  
”Look, guys. W-we don’t need to sneak into the Potion-“ His protest was cut short by a heavy hand on his shoulder.

”Wormtail, who said anything about the Potions room?” James’ grin was sly as he steered his friend to the door.

“Well, he was about to. But that aside, we don’t need to make a courage potion. Not when there’s a perfectly good one in the kitchen.” Sirius tossed an arm around Peter’s shoulder.

”Gryffindor courage in a bottle.” Remus chimed in as he closed the door behind them.

The next day, while sitting through a double detention with Slughorn, they all agreed it was totally worth it, if not for hearing Wormtail trying to serenade Amanda from a broom outside her window, then watching him try to fly away from the professor and bang three times into the Ravenclaw tower eliciting screams from once-slumbering girls.

Peter kept to himself, head bent low, face bright red as he tried to ignore them and work on his lines 'Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey" '


End file.
